FML
by L.M. Avalon
Summary: "Today, I was paired with the girl I've been crushing on all semester for our big final project. While waiting for me at my dorm, she hung out with my three roommates. Now all of them are in love with her, too. FML" AU. Inu/Kag.
1. Inuyasha

I know it's been awhile (read: an obnoxiously long time) since I've posted anything. This is a randomly inspired drabble collection, set in an AU modern college setting. I'm not considering this a real story because even though all the chapters are interconnected, there will be big jumps in time and character involvement. It doesn't really matter if they are demons or humans.

I'd also like to give a huge, gigantic, enormous thank you and shout out to **purduepup**, who edited all but the first couple of chapters, gave me great suggestions, and was extremely supportive. Your face? It is _awesome_.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the _fmylife _website.

* * *

_F My Life_

**Inuyasha**

* * *

Today, I was paired with the girl I've had a crush on all semester for our final project. Work kept me two hours late, and when I finally made it back to my dorm to meet up with her, I found out she spent the entire time playing video games with my dorm mates while waiting for me. Now, all three of them are in love with her, too. FML

_On 07/16/2010 at 10:43pm – love – by dogboy (man) – Japan_

Inuyasha glared at the webpage, and what he'd typed late last night glared right back at him. (In the way only an inanimate object can glare.) He grumbled under his breath—nothing specific—and slammed his laptop shut before shoving it into the bag at his feet.

He'd submitted the post right after Kagome had left his dorm the night before, smiling and waving as she left, calling goodnight to all four boys who lived there. Inuyasha himself had waved back mutely, his face going from numb to fury in six seconds flat as his roommates Kouga (who he hated all the time), Miroku (who he hated at least part of the time), and Hojo (who he sometimes forgot existed) said their own goodbyes.

"Thanks, Kagome! Come back soon!"

"Next time, I'm totally kicking your ass instead! …Kidding! Kidding! You were GREAT at that game!"

"Marry me!"

The moment the door had clicked shut, Inuyasha turned on the others accusingly. "Two hours. I was only TWO hours late."

"Exactly," Miroku said, slinging an arm around his best friend's shoulders to steer the furious boy to the couch. "It's your own fault. You should never leave a lady waiting."

"Especially when there's someone like you hanging around," Inuyasha bit back angrily. They both knew that although Miroku was his best friend, Inuyasha wouldn't trust the mild-mannered pervert as far as he could throw him. "Or a mangy wolf like you!"

At the glare Inuyasha sent Kouga's way, the man grinned, well, wolfishly. "I can't help it if you deposited a prime piece of—"

"Hey!"

"—like that directly in our laps," Kouga finished smoothly, ignoring the interruption. "It's not like she's _yours_, you know. She's fair game."

Miroku withdrew his arm and inched away from Inuyasha before adding his own thoughts to the conversation. "I'm sure we can all agree that Kagome is beautiful, charming, and sweet. We couldn't help ourselves."

"Especially after she kicked our asses at that video game."

Inuyasha looked at their tiny television and saw the start screen for some fighting game with a Sengoku period theme. In the background, there was an illustration of an enraged demon battling a fierce-looking woman dressed like a shrine maiden. "She has a little brother," he admitted to the others, figuring this would explain why she knew her way around a controller. "Plus, we all know you guys suck ass anyway. All you have to do is mash more buttons faster."

Kouga scoffed and left the room.

"I think she likes you," Hojo offered helpfully from the doorway. He smiled blissfully even when Inuyasha sent him the dirtiest look he could muster. Honestly, he had forgotten Hojo was there at all.

"What, so you're telling me you didn't hit on her, too?" Inuyasha accused, scoffing. "When I first got home, I saw how you guys were drooling over her, including you."

Hojo paused thoughtfully, leaning against the doorjamb and considered his answer before speaking again. "I don't think there would be much of a competition. Soon as you got home, Kagome only had eyes for you."

"Yeah, 'cuz we had a project to do and were already two hours behind thanks to my dumbass boss."

"I don't know, Inuyasha, she did brighten up the moment you walked through the door." Miroku scratched his chin, mimicking stroking a goatee he didn't have. "Well, you didn't _walk_ through the door. You stormed in so angrily, I think you left an indent where the door handle hit the wall."

Instantly, Inuyasha switched gears, going from angry and accusing to defensive and self-conscious. A fight he could handle, even if it was over "territory" that didn't really belong to him; sympathy and understanding from a wimp like Hojo and what could only be an ulterior motive from Miroku (plus, Kouga was an all-around sleeze) was something Inuyasha would rather shoot himself in the foot than deal with. "Look, Kagome's barely spoken to me outside of class all semester. The only reason she's putting up with me now is because of the project." After a moment, he turned his gold eyes down to his feet to hide his sudden, but very embarrassing, uncertainty.

"No, I think Hojo's right, I think Kagome has a thing for you," Miroku continued teasingly, and the line between a friendly conversation began to blur into Miroku getting his jollies by yanking his best friend's chain.

"So, does this mean you guys aren't going to go after Kagome, too?"

"Not at all. Like Kouga said, she's fair game until you grow some balls and ask her out," Miroku said as he stood up. He clapped Inuyasha on the shoulder in an almost affectionate sort of way, stretched, and finally retreated to his room for the night. When Inuyasha sent a questioning look at Hojo, the younger boy shrugged with a bashful smile and left without saying anything at all. Once he was alone, Inuyasha pulled his laptop toward himself and navigated to the _fmylife_ homepage.

Now, as he sat near the back of the classroom the following morning, his thoughts were sluggish. It really would be his own fault if some other guy snatched Kagome up—be it Miroku, Kouga, Hojo, or some other punk. Inuyasha had never really made a move or even hinted that he might have feelings for her. Actually, he didn't even know if Kagome was single. During class, they chatted whenever there was a pause in the lecture. Kagome was so open and honest, talking easily about her mother, brother, and grandfather; the shrine her family maintained; her three best friends who had not quite made it into the university of their choosing; and even her cat.

Inuyasha had talked (briefly, so very briefly) about his asshole half-brother and how, because both his parents were dead, he worked full-time to pay for his own education; he couldn't exactly rely on Sesshoumaru to help him out. Those facts might seem really personal and intimate, but he had never really cared if people knew about any of that. None of that had ever felt like private information to Inuyasha.

Private information would be how his heart did some weird skipping thing whenever Kagome walked into the room. (Like right now.) Or how he tended to be gruff and rude only because being nice and friendly made him feel uncomfortable and… well, like a wimp. Private information was anything that might give her a clue that he was into her.

"Hey, Inuyasha," she greeted brightly as she dropped into the chair next to him. Kagome tossed her long black hair over her shoulder and smiled at him. Predictably—and a little annoyingly—his heart started to beat erratically. "I think we can probably finish that project if we work for one more night. Two or three more hours oughta do it."

Inuyasha grunted and glanced away. He was still a little peeved about how damn _friendly _she had been with his roommates while waiting for him. It was her own fault for being so…

"Adorable," he muttered under his breath. It came out more angry and accusing than like a compliment.

"Excuse me?" Kagome asked, looking at him with a confused smile.

"Nothing."

A few minutes later, Inuyasha noticed how fidgety the girl was. Class wouldn't start until the professor showed, and Myouga was always at least ten minutes late. Maybe Kagome had noticed that Inuyasha was being more stubborn and silent than usual. Or maybe Kagome noticed the blush on his cheeks. Whatever it was, she seemed restless, and he could tell she kept looking at him from the corner of her eye.

"Class ends in two weeks," she said suddenly.

Inuyasha looked at her, looked away, nodded.

"Then it's break," Kagome continued, staring at him now.

"Happens every year," Inuyasha said gruffly. Then he winced, realizing how rude he probably sounded.

Kagome hesitated but pushed on. "We have different majors, so we might not have any classes together next semester, not even a gen. ed. class."

During the following brief pause, Inuyasha glanced at Kagome, watching her face longer this time. He was starting to get an idea of what she was getting at, but it seemed too good to be true. Was she trying to hint that she'd miss him? The moment of hope was shoved aside by reality. Inuyasha was a total ass, and Kagome was a sweet girl.

After another minute dragged on, Kagome finally dropped the smile, turned to face him fully, and crossed her arms stubbornly over her chest. Her mouth was set in a determined line. "So, there's this website my brother loves. I don't really check it out all that often, but sometimes if there's a good post, Souta'll call me up and read it to me. Or text it. Something. Sometimes it's funny, sometimes it's sad or disgusting."

Golden eyes glued on his shoes, Inuyasha and his plummeting stomach did not like where this was going.

"There was a real interesting one that went up last night. Souta told me about it this morning."

"You got a point?" Inuyasha asked defensively.

Kagome's mouth twitched as if she was fighting a smile. "I was kind of hoping you might recognize it. Inuyasha, do you ever check out that website… _F My Life_?"


	2. Sesshoumaru

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the _fmylife _website.

* * *

_F My Life_

**Sesshoumaru**

* * *

Today, my little brother's new girlfriend showed up at my house looking for him. She is so sweet and perky that I really want to hate her, but no matter how hard I try, I can't. FML

_On 07/29/2010 at 7:21pm – misc – by lordoffluff (man) – Japan_

"What, Souta, do you just assume that any post by someone in Japan somehow has something to do with me?" Kagome asked, laughing as she clutched her cell phone closer to her ear so she wouldn't drop it as she navigated the streets of Tokyo.

"No." Her little brother's voice was fuzzy with static, but she could still hear his exasperation. "But c'mon, Kagome… Sweet? Perky? And you told me you met up with Inuyasha at his half-brother's house yesterday. It fits."

"I think you read that website too much." With the pause that followed her observation, Souta could clearly hear Kagome's laughter across the phone line.

"Maybe," Souta conceded, "but I still bet that Sesshoumaru guy posted it."

"Hmm, maybe," Kagome murmured, crossing the street at the stoplight with a large crowd. "Honestly, Sesshoumaru didn't really strike me as the type who would post something on _fmylife_, let alone even know the website exists. Then again, he didn't really strike me as the total creep Inuyasha thinks he is either. He might not be a chatterbox, but he was polite and gracious, if nothing else."

"So… nothing like Inuyasha."

"I thought you liked Inuyasha!"

"I do!" Souta assured his sister quickly, his next words rushed. "He's freaking awesome. You know he's practically my hero now, but anyone with a brain can tell you that he's a complete loudmouth who can be rude faster than you can nag me. He did treat Grandpa like a crazy old man rather than a respected elder."

"Grandpa _is _a crazy old man, Souta."

Finally, Kagome saw her target in the distance. The ice cream shop loomed ahead. Even the cardboard cut-outs of cones overflowing and topped with sprinkles made her mouth water. It had been raining for weeks, and even though it had just started to warm up again, Kagome was already aching for something to cool off.

"So, what exactly happened?" Souta asked.

"Last night?"

"Yeah. Why were you so sweet to this Sesshoumaru guy? Doesn't Inuyasha hate him?"

"I'd just like to remind you that I'm still not convinced it was him that posted that FML. And I don't see how I was 'so' sweet; I didn't do anything special."

Less than twenty-four hours earlier, Sesshoumaru had opened the door of his rather spacious condo to find a very petite, admittedly attractive young woman smiling politely up at him. She was dressed conservatively in a pastel skirt and sweater set, her long hair loose around her shoulder, and she had little makeup on her face.

"How may I help you?" Even his droning tone (which made it clear in no uncertain terms that he did not believe he could help her in any way) didn't seem to discourage the girl.

"Hi, I'm Kagome," she introduced herself, shoving her hand in his direction with a fixed grin on her face. "Inuyasha texted me the address and asked me to meet him here."

Sesshoumaru eyed the proffered hand, waited just long enough that he hoped she felt a little uncomfortable or even unwelcomed, and then finally clasped her hand in a loose, quick handshake. Kagome, meanwhile, was dismayed at how much more delicate and well-manicured his hand looked wrapped around her own smaller one.

"I am unclear as to why my little brother," Sesshoumaru sounded a disgusted at this term, "would ask to meet his… whatever it is you happen to be… at my home."

Kagome's face fell, overcome with such confusion and disappointment that even Sesshoumaru (very, _very _deep down) felt a little bad for causing it.

"Why don't you come in while we straighten this out," he offered, opening the door a little wider so Kagome could come inside, kick off her shoes, and step into one of the many sets of slippers meant for guests.

"Thank you," she said politely, bravely putting on another smile. She allowed the older man to lead her to the couch, all the while fighting the urge to pull out her cell phone and doublecheck the message she had received from her (very new) boyfriend just a couple of hours earlier. Communication may not be the couple's strong point, but there were very few ways to interpret an address followed by, "Meet me and Sesshoumaru at 5." She'd sent a text back, agreeing. He responded immediately with a smiley face— which seemed very out of character, but Kagome was hoping he was just in a good mood.

"Kagome—It is Kagome, isn't it?" At her nod, Sesshoumaru continued slowly, thoughtfully, "Inuyasha and I, how you might say, _differ_ on a number of opinions. I am sure he has complained that it is my fault that he has to work to support himself."

"It isn't?" Kagome asked hopefully; not because she was hoping Inuyasha was a liar (everyone knew he exaggerated if it made him out to be a bigger hero or more badass than he actually was), but she liked to believe there was good in everyone, even Sesshoumaru. Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru were, after all, family. Kagome may complain about Souta all the time, but the truth was that she would do anything for the brat.

Sesshoumaru seemed to consider his words carefully as Kagome entertained ideas about how, behind that stoic mask, lay a man bursting with familial love and warmth.

"Yes, it is true."

If Kagome were in an anime, she would have dropped face first into the ground in shock.

"I was raised by our father to believe that a man should find his own way in life. Rewards are not the same if you do not earn them yourself. If I were to just hand Inuyasha the money, how would he learn to be strong and self-sufficient?"

"Have you tried explaining that to him?" Kagome asked, back to smiling as warmly as she possibly could, her faith in mankind restored. Yes, Sesshoumaru was a good, wonderful, kind-hearted—

"Of course not," Sesshoumaru said, making a noise that for any lesser gentleman may have sounded like a snort or a scoff. "I find it amusing to see him struggle and blame me for all his failures when, in reality, it is due to the fact that he's more or less worthless."

Even now, the morning after her encounter with him, as Kagome recounted this conversation with Souta almost word-for-word, she felt confused—was Sesshoumaru a good guy or a bad guy?

"Stop trying to label everyone!" Souta shouted, breaking into Kagome's thoughts. Being her brother, even over the phone, he knew exactly what was conflicting her at that very moment.

"You're right," Kagome sighed, moving up another spot in line at the ice cream parlor. "I guess I'm just glad I got to meet him in the first place. I like seeing where Inuyasha came from."

"What I want to know," Souta said, after the conversation started to drift into another comfortable silence, "is how you ended up there at all. It sounds like Sesshoumaru wasn't expecting you, and Inuyasha was really late."

"Oh!" Kagome said, actually clapping her hands together when she perked up. Some of the other customers turned to look at her strangely, but most of the glares softened when they saw just how gosh darn adorable the dark-haired girl was. "Turns out Miroku stole Inuyasha's phone and used it to text me. I'm still not sure if he was trying to put us in an awkward situation, me between two feuding brothers, or if he was actually trying to help us out by getting Inuyasha to open up to me some more."

"It was probably just a prank," Souta decided.

"Maybe. Probably. Who knows?" Kagome stepped forward again, next in line after the woman ordering a chocolate ice cream cone. "You should have seen the look on Inuyasha's face when he showed up after Sesshoumaru called him and demanded he get his ass over there. I honestly feared for Miroku's life. Far as I know, though, he's still alive."

"Ok, but that leaves one last mystery."

"Which is?"

Kagome was certain she could actually hear Souta's facial expression turning mischievous through the phone. "How could Sesshoumaru find _you_ sweet and perky?"

"_SOUTA_!"


	3. Miroku

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the _fmylife _website.

* * *

_F My Life_

**Miroku**

* * *

Today, I realized that I am the only person in my shared apartment who does not have a girlfriend, even though the other three guys are one who has no personality, one who acts like a barbarian, and one who is a rude, egotistical loudmouth. All three of their girlfriends are gorgeous, sweet, and smart. FML

_On 08/18/2010 at 9:04am – love – mightaswellbeamonk (man) – Japan_

"I don't act like a barbarian!" Inuyasha snapped, the half-chewed ramen in his mouth dribbling onto his chin when he whipped around to shoot a glare at his best friend. Immediately, he drew his arm across his face to wipe off the mess, stared at said mess, and then wiped it on his jeans.

"Actually, Inuyasha, you're the rude, egotistical loudmouth," Miroku explained patiently, pointing at the laptop screen at the third friend listed in his post. "Kouga's the barbarian. Although now I'm starting to wonder if you two aren't interchangeable."

"Why you—!"

"Also, why are you eating ramen for breakfast?" Miroku interrupted calmly, picking up his cup of tea from the ground next to him and sipping it in a dignified manner. Anyone watching would probably think he was doing it on purpose after the way Inuyasha behaved himself.

"You know we have even less money now that we moved into an off-campus apartment than we did living in the dorm," the other grumbled, cradling the bowl of noodles tighter to his chest as though Miroku had insulted it.

"See, that would be a satisfactory explanation if you'd only started doing it since the move. But you've been eating ramen for breakfast and at least one other meal every day since I first met you."

Inuyasha grunted but decided not to answer. He'd eventually learned that words in a conversation with Miroku only fueled the fire… of insults. Instead, he changed the topic, hoping that it would lead to a conversation with a better end (or at least different insults than ones about his dietary habits). "I know Kouga just started seeing that Aya—Aye—that red-headed, pig-tailed chick, but I didn't know Hojo was dating anyone."

"Honestly, Inuyasha, it's like you don't even care about him!"

"I really don't."

Miroku rolled his eyes and clucked his tongue like a disappointed mother. "Hojo is your roommate and your friend; you should pay more attention to his life."

Well, one out of two was correct. "Ok, whatever, but who's he dating?" When Miroku shot him a look, Inuyasha started to comb his mind because apparently he was supposed to already know about this. Honestly, all he'd been doing was working or spending time with Kagome since they'd officially gotten together. Dating that girl was like another full-time job. (He lov—_liked_ Kagome, but she was a magnet for trouble and could be as stubborn as he could on the many occasions they disagreed. Luckily, the arguments were always petty, and they still seemed blissful in their new relationship.)

"Kagome set him up with her friend," Miroku explained, slowly. "Don't you remember? She brought the girl over last week—athletic, beautiful, brunette."

Inuyasha grunted, trying to turn his thoughts from Kagome (where they always seemed to drift these days. Crap, he was becoming such a wuss!) to whatever night this supposedly was. Finally, a friendly but annoyingly witty girl came to mind; she was quick to counter Inuyasha's rudeness with sharp conversational jabs that either confused him or made him feel a little ashamed. Confident, intelligent, a little stern—and Kagome's best friend. Inuyasha had only met her a handful of times since, like him, she was working a full-time job on top of schoolwork, plus her spare-time was full of martial arts and kickboxing.

"Oh, yeah, Sango!" Inuyasha said, finally grasping her name from the nether regions of his mind. "Wait. She's dating _Hojo_? She's totally out of his league. Hojo should have an imaginary girlfriend or something."

"Out of his league? Inuyasha, you're dating _Kagome_."

"Point taken, but c'mon, even a lech like you after only meeting Sango once has to see that she could do better."

Miroku thought about Sango— her long, silky brown hair; her shapely legs; her confident smile. It wasn't until Inuyasha punched him in the shoulder that he snapped out of his daze and found drool on his chin. "She really was something."

"By 'do better,' I didn't mean you," Inuyasha said pointedly, eyeing his best friend's drool. "I don't think you should even be allowed _near_ women." Finally, he turned back to the FML post that Miroku had submitted several minutes ago, starting this entire conversation in the first place. With a wave of his hand, Inuyasha indicated Miroku's woe-is-me crap to make sure the other man knew exactly what he was talking about now. "It's your own fault you're alone, idiot; you treat women worse than I do. You pretend to be all suave and charming or some shit, then you feel them up like a pervert! I guarantee the only reason why Sango and Kagome haven't learned to avoid you yet is because you haven't had a chance to grab either of their asses!"

Miroku held a hand to his chest, pretending to be mortally wounded by his friend's words. "For your information, I treat women like human beings—not as objects, like Kouga does, or as annoyances, like you did up until Kagome. So what if I get a little grabby now and then? I respect their intelligence and grace and beauty! And, for your information, I did grab Sango's ass. The night I met her. It was the firmest, most succulent… And when she slapped me? I've never had a hand print last that long before! She has quite an arm."

"You molested my girlfriend's best friend?"

"And I think I'm in love."

The mumbled threats that Inuyasha made were so angry and growling that even Miroku (fluent in Inuyasha-ese) couldn't make them out. He waited for the grumbling to die down before smiling. "But Hojo is dating her, and I am far too much of a gentleman to steal another guy's girl, especially from a friend… or a friend-like roommate."

"Miroku, he's gone on one date with Sango, and it's been a week. I don't think that makes her his girlfriend." Inuyasha nearly hit himself in the forehead when he realized he was actually encouraging this. Miroku had fallen in love with a girl because of the way she'd hit him? This could not end well! Before he could backpedal out of the conversation, though, his phone started to buzz in his back pocket. Holding up one finger to his best friend to make sure Miroku knew to stay put, he told him, "We're not done yet, damn it!" He flipped his phone open to answer the call. "Yeah?"

"Inuyasha! Hi, it's Kagome. You never seem to check your caller ID before answering, do you? Anyway," and his girlfriend was off, talking so fast and high-pitched that Inuyasha actually pulled the phone away from his ear a couple of inches. Her rambling indicated that something not-so-good was about to happen to him. "I know it's kind of cliché and only happens in movies or books or something, you know, places where everything can get worked out perfectly? 'Cause honestly, if something were to go wrong for one couple, it would totally ruin everything for everybody else, and I'm a little worried, but—Well, she asked me to ask you to ask him, and how could I say no?"

Even Miroku had raised an eyebrow, not hearing every word Kagome was saying through Inuyasha's phone but hearing enough to know something was going on. Inuyasha opened his mouth to interrupt, but she plowed ahead.

"And Souta texted me that FML from, like, ten minutes ago, and I'm still not certain it was Miroku's, but the description of the three roommates sure do sound like you and Hojo and Kouga. If it was Miroku, you'll thank him for me for saying I'm 'gorgeous and sweet and smart,' right? That was really nice of him! But that also means he thinks the same thing of Sango, which is good, because—"

"KAGOME!"

"You don't have to yell, Inuyasha," Kagome snapped and huffed into the phone. For a few second, the only sound was her breathing heavily after her very long greeting. "Look, ever since Sango went to meet Hojo and got, uhm, greeted by Miroku, she can't stop talking about him. Miroku, not Hojo. And it's not all nice things. Mostly she keeps ranting about what a chauvinistic pervert he is, but the point is that she won't stop talking about him. Good or bad, that definitely means something."

Miroku had sat down close to Inuyasha and was pressing his ear into the other side of the cell phone. Inuyasha shoved him away, but his best friend came right back to hover close enough to overhear. He was already grinning from ear to ear.

Kagome sighed, then continued. "Sango wants Miroku to take her out to coffee as an apology for groping her. Personally, I think it's just an excuse to see him. I'm a little worried, because two sets of best friends dating probably can't end well. If one relationship fails, it'll strain the other, plus the friendships. But…"

"Sango," Inuyasha said slowly, as if trying the name out in his mouth for the first time. "And Miroku."

"Yes."

"Kagome, I think this is a terrible idea. A terrible, terrible idea. They'll kill each other before the week's over—!"

"I'll do it!" Miroku said, snatching the phone from a stunned Inuyasha, vaulting over the coffee table to the other side, and grinning like mad. "Tell Sango I'm going to take her out for the best coffee of her life, and I'll try not to grab her inappropriately this time. Unless she asks. Then, as a gentleman, I'll have to comply."

Kagome's excited squeal carried through the phone and over to Inuyasha where he sat, shocked, on the couch. Abruptly, the shriek of joy stopped, and Kagome asked, "You don't think Hojo will mind, do you?"


	4. Sango

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the _fmylife _website.

* * *

_F My Life_

**Sango**

* * *

Today, I realized that I might actually like it when my boyfriend inappropriately grabs my ass in public. I was so mad about this that I hit him without explaining why. Now, we're both distressed. FML

_On 10/11/2010 at 5:31pm – love – by toughgirl (woman) – Japan_

"There's something wrong with you," Kagome said as she finished reading Sango's post; she said it laughingly, though, so Sango decided not to be offended by the comment. "You're officially calling Miroku your boyfriend now?"

"We've been dating for a couple weeks, and I don't see an end in sight. I'm not sure if I'm happy or not about that," Sango explained thoughtfully, stealing her laptop back from her best friend to scroll through the other posts on the site. "We both know I'd break his heart if I broke it off now."

"His heart or your own?" the darker-haired girl asked, for once sounding less perky and more contemplative.

Sango shrugged. "We're barely twenty-one, Kagome; I'm not making life plans here."

"I can't believe you posted that on _fmylife_," Kagome said suddenly, stealing the laptop back, scrolling to the top of the page, and rereading the post. "You're worse than Souta; he's never posted anything himself."

"I can't believe you're not hooked yet," Sango argued. "Kohaku only had to read it aloud for an hour before I started checking it every day."

"You're such a boy!" In response, Sango socked Kagome in the arm. The younger girl grasped her shoulder and winced but was still laughing. "You totally just proved my point."

"You're only mad because I'm immune to your charms."

"What charms?" Kagome asked defensively, getting up from her mother's couch and picking up the dishes that had piled up while the girls pigged out. "Help me take these to the kitchen," she ordered when Sango remained lazing around on her butt. The brunette immediately jumped to her feet and brought her hand to her forehead in a mock salute that left Kagome rolling her eyes. "And they say I'm the one with all the energy."

"You should go kickboxing with me," Sango suggested.

"Ha!" Kagome snorted, stacking some cups to make them easier to carry. "Like Inuyasha would ever let me do anything that might give me a bruise or a sprain or something. Sometimes I think he thinks I'm made of porcelain." She paused, eyeing Sango pointedly as the other girl did the bare minimum in clean-up. "And you never answered my question; what charms?"

"Everyone thinks you're so sweet and cute, but I know the truth."

"Which is?"

"You're stubborn and grumpy and a little naive," Sango said, holding up a finger for every characteristic she listed off. "You ramble when you're nervous, which some people think is cute, but I think is annoying because it takes forever to figure out what you're trying to say."

Almost immediately, Kagome thought back to when she'd called Inuyasha during her matchmaking attempt between Miroku and Sango. Glumly, she realized she did tend to babble when she was excited or nervous about something. Inuyasha hadn't seemed to mind _that_ time. Maybe she should watch it, though, and not push him next time. "I don't think I'm naive," she finally said since she couldn't really argue with her best friend's other points.

"Kagome, you'd take candy from a stranger even if they were driving a creepy van with blacked-out windows."

"Would not!"

Sango snorted but navigated around Kagome to the kitchen without pushing the topic.

"Even if I am all those things," the younger girl persisted, trailing behind, "at least I don't like it when my boyfriend molests me in public. And you know what? I have a boyfriend who doesn't even _try _to molest me in public."

"Because Inuyasha's gay."

"He is not," Kagome snapped, but her tone lacked the bite that meant she was seriously angry. She took the bait on purpose, knowing Sango was just being snarky because her best friend was still disturbed about the realization she'd posted on the website a few minutes earlier. "Inuyasha's just—He's just emotionally constipated, that's all."

Together, the girls collapsed into a fit of giggles at the sink.

"The one good thing about Miroku's perverted ways is that I'll never have to guess about his sexual orientation. Girls, girls, girls."

Kagome worried her bottom lip, fighting the grin that was stretching across her face. "I think…"

"Yeah?"

"I think we should test that theory. Personally, I think Miroku is preoccupied with butts in general, not just girls' butts."

"What's the test?"

"We find a guy with a nice butt, cover his face, and make it so Miroku only sees him from behind, and then we see if he can help himself."

Sango snorted. "He better not help himself. I can barely handle the few times he's 'accidentally' brushed against another girl's ass. I don't think I'd be okay if he felt up some guy!"

Kagome shrugged, still grinning. "C'mon, just picture it. Oh! Oh! Imagine if we got Inuyasha to do it! He wears a pair of jeans pretty well!"

"He'd have to be drunk."

"Probably."

Sango shook her head, grabbing Kagome by the wrist to drag her out of the kitchen and back to the couch. "This is a weird conversation."

"You started it by admitting you like to be groped."

"By _Miroku_, not by just anyone. It's different if it's a guy you're seeing who's doing the groping!"

"So if I touched your butt, you wouldn't be happy about it?"

The girls looked at each other mutely for a few seconds before once again collapsing in a fit of giggles. "Don't," the brunette gasped between laughter, "don't ever let Miroku hear you suggest something like that again. His head would probably explode."

"Yeah, well, Inuyasha can be so jealous and possessive, I don't think he'd even appreciate a girl-on-girl joke."

"Because he's gay," Sango concluded.

"Oh, cut it out," Kagome said warningly, wagging her finger. "Seriously, though, I dropped by the apartment—speaking of which, they still haven't completely unpacked; they're so lazy—and Kouga was on his way out. He opened the door for me, which was actually kind of polite considering it was _Kouga_, and Inuyasha was practically seething. And if we ever all eat together? It's like Inuyasha thinks 'pass the salt' is code for 'make-out with me in the closet when my boyfriend's not watching' or something."

"I don't think Inuyasha's completely imagining it, and I think you're a little more oblivious than you think you are. Kouga does it on purpose," Sango said wisely. "I'm pretty sure he's happy with Ayame. He's just teasing Inuyasha because pissing him off makes Kouga happy."

"Boys are weird."

"Don't I know it," Sango said, pulling her cell phone out of her pocket and looking at the wallpaper she'd put up of her and Miroku with their arms around each other and laughing. After studying the innocent look on her boyfriend's face in the photo, she turned her eyes again to her laptop. The FML post she'd typed up was in the middle of the screen where Kagome had left it. For the life of her, Sango just couldn't figure out why it made her want to laugh.


	5. Kouga

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the _fmylife _website.

* * *

_F My Life_

**Kouga**

* * *

Today, I thought it would be funny to flirt with my roommate's girlfriend at the breakfast table. My broken nose says otherwise. FML

_On 11/03/2010 at 2:26pm - misc - by wolfishcharms (man) - Japan_

"Not happy with the girlfriend you already managed to get?" asked a snide voice as a woman slid into the seat next to Kouga, her well-manicured finger pointing at the laptop screen set up in front of him. In the background, Kouga faintly heard the geology lecture continue.

"Kagura," Kouga greeted, the frown on his face deepening. He was already bitter considering he'd been in the ER for two hours that morning—his face was swollen and discolored—yet he still managed to attend class. Now, the woman he possibly hated even more than he hated Inuyasha was sitting next to him, her darkened lips lifted upward in a cruel smile. "For the record, I am extremely happy with Ayame."

"What's this I hear about you flirting with Kagome?" Kagura pushed.

"Just to get a rise out of Inuyasha."

"I see it worked wonderfully."

Before he could snap back (whether with words or his fist, even Kouga didn't know), the professor called them out in the front of the class. When both slunk down in their seats (Well… Kouga slouched; Kagura crossed her legs and turned her head away as if she couldn't deign their teacher with an answer when he yelled, "What's with all the noise?"), the lesson continued. The few faces of their classmates who continued to stare at them were easily turned away with the combined force of Kouga and Kagura's glares.

"Everyone knows Kagome could do better," Kouga said finally, but his voice was definitely quieter. For all his bravado, he couldn't afford to fail another class.

"She seems happy enough. I mean, even when they're arguing, I think she's really glad she's dating him."

"What do you care? I didn't think you were friends with either of 'em!"

"I'm not," Kagura said shortly, pursing her lips. Everything about her screamed _aloof, malicious bitch_—from her crimson eyes to her pointy-toed red shoes. But Kouga knew better. When he and the others in his year, like his roommates and Kagome, first entered university, Kagura used to torture the younger students. He'd heard, however, that she'd recently fallen in with a better crowd and was using her last few months before graduation to actually _help_ others. That didn't mean she didn't still act like a heinous bitch, though. "I had dinner with them the other day when I went to catch up with Sesshoumaru."

"Catch up? Don't you mean do the dirty with him?"

"Shut up!" she snapped, but Kouga gleefully noted how her cheeks reddened. "I'm getting a job at Sesshoumaru's company after I graduate, and he promised to show me the ropes. Not that I need to explain myself to _you_."

Kouga sniggered.

"I'm so sick of this place," Kagura continued, surprising Kouga that she'd chosen to continue their conversation about something relatively normal instead of using her time to harass him. "There are way too many people to keep track of, and too many people's names start with the same letter."

"It does get confusing," Kouga agreed. "Especially with all the drama." He touched his nose gingerly and winced. "I can't believe he punched me."

"What'd you say to Kagome anyway?"

Kouga cast his thoughts back to that morning when the four roommates had been surprised to find Kagome standing at their door with bags of take-out from a nearby restaurant for breakfast. She was smiling sweetly when she came in and began unpacking all kinds of food. With a wolfish grin sent Inuyasha's way, Kouga sidled up to Kagome and slid an arm around her waist. Back in the present, Kouga looked at Kagura and smiled sheepishly. "I asked her why she didn't care enough about Inuyasha to cook rather than buy him breakfast like she did for me the last time we spent the night together. Kagome laughed. Inuyasha didn't."

"He really needs to get a handle on that temper of his. Like Kagome would ever actually sleep with you."

"Yeah—Hey! Wait!"

"Quiet back there!" the professor snapped, turning angry eyes on his two students. "If all you wanted to do was chat, then why'd you even take my class?"

"To get enough credits to finally graduate," Kagura called back honestly. "And for the record, I've gotten full credit on every single test and assignment in here."

"And I've gotten at least _half _credit on everything!" Kouga added angrily before it dawned on him that what he had just shouted in front of the entire class had not exactly been something to brag about. Instead of backing down, however, he crossed his arms stubbornly. After a short stare-down, the teacher finally sighed.

"Why don't we just stop for today?" he asked, exasperated. "To make up for it, we'll have a test next class over everything you should've learned up until now. Use these last ten minutes to get started on studying."

Kouga slouched further down in his seat, trying to avoid all the nasty looks his classmates were sending him.

"Nice going," Kagura said, patting him on the back as she stood and gathered her things.

"Hey, this is your fault, too!"

The woman snorted and walked away, leaving Kouga to deal with everything. In the middle of being badgered by everyone else, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. After fishing it out, he saw he had a text message from Kagome. She was one of those people who always had to type everything out perfectly, punctuation and capitalization included.

"'Sorry about this morning,'" he read out loud, ignoring two of his buddies he'd known since high school (Ginta and Hakkaku) as they griped in his ear about how his big mouth always got everybody in trouble. "'I wish you guys would stop complaining about everything on FML. I'm tired of it.'"

With a sigh, he hefted his bag over his shoulder and walked out of the room, blocking out the grumbling of everyone he passed. Kouga decided to just get Ayame to help him study; she was always willing to help him out. Thank goodness for sweet, understanding girlfriends.

He conveniently forgot that Ayame would want to know why his nose was broken.


	6. Kagura

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the _fmylife _website.

* * *

_F My Life_

**Kagura**

* * *

Today, the man who is going to be my new boss outlined the rules of the company we'll both be working for, emphasizing that coworkers are not allowed to be in relationships together. It was at that moment I realized I was falling in love with him. FML

_On 12/11/2010 at 1:46pm – love – by Anonymous (woman) – sent from mobile version_

"I'm so sorry, Kagura," Kagome gushed, patting the back of Kagura's hand sympathetically. "I thought Inuyasha was the thick one in the family."

Kagura withdrew her hand icily but softened the gesture with a smile at Kagome; it was really hard to be mean to the girl. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"At lunch, just an hour ago," Kagome persisted, leaning forward across the table they were sitting at. All around them, people were noisily getting coffee. "I bet even _Inuyasha_ could see your face fall when Sesshoumaru was yakking on and on about all the rules you have to look forward to at the family company."

"My face did not fall. Why would my face fall?" Kagura asked defensively, starting to regret agreeing to go out with the girl after they had all met for lunch—the fact that they'd been meeting for some warped family meals a few times in the past month was weird enough. As far as she could tell, Kagome was the one orchestrating it all, trying to get the brothers to be closer and possibly (probably) trying to play matchmaker between Sesshoumaru and Kagura. Unfortunately, so far, all the meals had resulted in Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru at each other's throats and Kagura being…

Well, not crushed, because that would imply Kagura had actually been attracted to Sesshoumaru. And who on Earth would ever be attracted to that man? He was cold, calculating, had no inflection in his voice, or emotion on his face.

Plus, he was prettier than any man had a right to be.

"Kagura, I saw you on your phone. I'd bet money that you were complaining about it on _fmylife_." Kagome pulled a face and fiddled with her coffee cup (which was actually full of hot tea). "What is it with everyone and that website?"

"I'd bet money that you will break down one of these days and post something on it."

"Never," Kagome replied vehemently. "I get enough of it with Souta, and his extreme need to update me on every post that's from Japan. I'm still not convinced they're all from people I know."

"It's not like there are all that many posts from around here; it's mostly Americans."

"They do have more to complain about," Kagome agreed.

"At least it's entertaining."

"Anyway," the younger girl said, trying to bring the conversation back around to where it had started. "I've known for ages that you had a thing for Sesshoumaru. You two would make such a… handsome… couple."

Kagura sincerely doubted Kagome suspected feelings between the two considering Kagura had only decided for herself _that_ day that Sesshoumaru might be worth a second look. Kagome just had a habit of seeing things that weren't there; it wouldn't be the first time. Up until then, Kagura was mostly just looking forward to working at such a prestigious company, even though she didn't have the cleanest record.

What could she say? She liked bad boys!

(Naraku, the ex-of-all-exes, was the baddest bad boy of them all. In elementary school, he stole lunch money and bullied classmates on the playground. In middle school, he stole other kids' bikes and the answers to the geography test. High school saw him graduate to grand theft auto and drugs. Currently, he was in jail for a heist gone wrong—he'd attempted to steal a jewel collection from the local museum. He'd failed.)

Plus, Kagura was far too busy to think about relationships. She was too distracted finishing up the last of her classes, hunting for a new apartment, tormenting Kouga when there was a spare moment, and so on.

Not too long ago, in fact, she'd walked past some redhead with pigtails totally thrashing the boy, although the girl was thoughtfully avoiding her boyfriend's broken nose.

It had made her giggle. _Giggle_.

"Just like you could do better than Inuyasha, Sango could do way better than Miroku, Ayame could—"

"I get it, Kagura."

"I deserve someone much better than Sesshoumaru."

"Better how?" Kagome asked in disbelief. "He's handsome, rich, successful, the CEO of a company, and did I mention very, very rich? If nothing else, marry him for the money!"

The two women stared openly at each other for several minutes, Kagura trying to figure out if Kagome was joking or not. Just when she was deciding between being proud and mortified, the other girl broke down into laughter, and Kagura sighed in relief.

"Seriously," Kagome finally continued, "how could you do better? I mean, the only other option you have at this point is _Hojo_."

"Who?"

"Exactly. Anyway, I'm certain everything will work out in the end," Kagome said optimistically. She smiled in reassurance and patted Kagura on the hand again, despite the older woman attempting to pull it out of reach. "Just give it time. And if you're being honest, and you haven't posted about this on _fmylife_ yet, don't. There's a good chance Sesshoumaru reads that website."

Kagura froze. Oh… crap…

"F my life," Kagura hissed, pulling out her phone and trying to figure out how to delete a post from the mobile version.


	7. Naraku

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the _fmylife _website.

* * *

_F My Life_

**Naraku**

* * *

Today, I broke out of prison. Right now, cops are bursting through the door of the internet café to re-arrest me. FML

_On 01/13/2011 at 8:23pm – misc – by Anonymous (man) – Japan_

"That is so made-up," Inuyasha griped after Miroku read the latest FML. The group was gathered in the apartment's living room, lounging in various positions around the laptop and reading the website out loud. Although Kagome had complained loudly at the activity chosen ("WHY does everything we do have to involve that website? It's one of the few days we all have free time, and instead of doing something productive or even remotely fun, you guys want to do _this_?"), the majority had voted for a night in with pizza, lame movies (mostly American imports), and surfing the web for laughs.

"I don't know," Sango mused, reaching for another slice of the now-rubbery and cold pizza. "Sometimes I think the craziest ones are the only real ones—I mean, how could someone possibly think to make something like that up? The more everyday ones are easier to lie about."

"Does take some real imagination to come up with breaking out of prison," Kagome said. "Plus, we can always check the papers or the news to see if something like this happened."

"It was posted two hours ago," Miroku added as he checked the information listed under the post. "Should be on the news by now."

"Unless there's a big conspiracy in the Japanese government and the news stations won't report the escape. This guy's secretly an undercover secret agent who was wrongfully arrested, but he's forced into jail to keep him quiet!"

Everyone pelted Kouga with stale popcorn and various objects—like pillows and the TV remote—while he sat there laughing, his arm slung around Ayame's shoulders. Meanwhile, she shielded her face with a hand to keep the stray popcorn from hitting her in the eye as she giggled.

"Doesn't your friend Kagura have prison ties?" Hojo asked from where he sat in an armchair. At least half the room jumped, startled, because they'd forgotten he was even there. Hojo didn't notice.

"She was a total bad girl," Kagome clarified. "I bet it's one of her ex-boyfriends."

"I still think it's made-up," Inuyasha groused.

"Totally," Kagome agreed, patting her boyfriend on the knee. He was sitting on the couch on one side of Miroku (Sango was on the other side) while Kagome sat on the floor, her back pressed into his legs as she reclined, comfortable, with a bowl of popcorn in her lap. "Although I think almost everything posted on that site is fake, except for all the stuff you guys write about."

"I think it's all real," Ayame argued. "Who would waste their time coming up with random things to complain about on the internet?"

"Bored people?" Sango interjected.

"Lying liars who lie," Miroku added, trying unsuccessfully to grope his girlfriend's backside while she was distracted by the conversation. He ended up with a huge handprint seared into his face, which was distorted when he grinned broadly. Kagome noted how Sango tried to hide a pleased smile.

(Kagome had come up with a theory that Sango did not enjoy the actual groping, as the brunette had posted on _fmylife_, but actually enjoyed brutally retaliating afterwards. Sango responded to this theory by punching Kagome a little too hard in the shoulder for it to be considered playful.)

"I can't believe you guys actually talk about your personal lives on a website," Kagome considered aloud, frowning at almost everyone in the room. "Especially when it has to do with other people."

"It's not like a lot of people read it or can even figure out who said what," Kouga pointed out, trying to look thoughtful and reasonable; it just didn't work real well for him. "Sure, there aren't a lot of people in Japan posting, but it's all anonymous, and we've only figured out some of them belonged to us because we're all around each other all the time."

"And witnessed most of the incidents," Ayame added, snuggling into the crook of Kouga's arm.

"It did help us get together," Inuyasha said, gesturing between himself and Kagome. "I never would have asked you out if you hadn't confronted me about my FML post after Souta showed it to you."

"I asked _you_ out."

"No, you didn't!"

"No, I really did," Kagome said, laughing. "Me, the girl, asked you, the boy, out on a date when you still weren't brave enough."

"I'm the bravest person in this room!"

Everyone broke down into laughter, leaving Inuyasha torn between looking pissed off and confused.

"You're the most foolish," Miroku amended. "Jumping off a roof with an umbrella when we were in high school did not make you brave, it made you gullible and stupid."

"So what's your excuse for doing it, too?" Inuyasha shot back.

"I was satisfying my curiosity! It was for science's sake."

"Yeah, but you did it after I did; you actually saw me fall and snap my leg in two places. Then you did it anyway."

"I learned from your mistakes," Miroku pointed out defensively, ignoring the incredulous looks the rest of the group was sending his way. "I aimed for the trampoline and only sprained my ankle."

"You're an idiot," Sango told him. Under her disbelieving expression, Kagome swore she could still see some affection for the man.

"Let's face it," Ayame said sadly. "All the girls in this room are way too smart for their significant others."

"It's been pointed out before," Kagome said.

Miroku, Kouga, and Inuyasha all had the grace to look offended. (Hojo suddenly realized he was a seventh wheel and got up to leave; no one noticed for several hours.)

"We're all ruggedly handsome, charming men," Inuyasha snapped.

"You think I'm handsome?" Miroku fluttered. Kagome and Sango shot each other looks, silently laughing as they both remembered their bromance conversation about their boyfriends a couple of months before.

"You think I'm handsome?" Kouga shouted, looking disgusted.

Inuyasha realized his mistake and snapped his mouth shut, then opened it, then closed it again. Like a fish. "Wait, I mean—"

"Is there something we need to discuss?" Kagome asked him, giggling.

"Look, I think we've gotten off-topic," Inuyasha said instead, obviously trying to back out of the conversation before he dealt himself any more damage. The others threw him a bone and didn't try to return to the subject of his possible homosexuality, but that didn't mean they stopped laughing. "Read some more posts," Inuyasha shot back to Miroku desperately.

"I think we should find out if someone broke out of jail today and was caught the same day in an internet café," Kagome insisted.

Within a few minutes, Miroku had navigated to a Tokyo newspaper's website. The top story?

_**Jewel-Thief Naraku "Shikon" Morikawa Orchestrates Brilliant Escape Plan, Caught Two Hours Later in Internet Café by Tokyo Police**_

"Damn," Sango said, surprised.

"Hey, I think Kagura dated him!" Kagome exclaimed.

"She would." Kouga snorted. "I can't believe he used his first hours of freedom to go to an internet café to look at _fmylife_. That's messed up," Kouga said. Everyone nodded in agreement.


	8. Souta

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the _fmylife _website.

* * *

_F My Life_

**Souta**

* * *

Today, I realized that my sister's life is worse than a soap opera, and I have to hear all about it. FML

_On 02/28/2011 at 4:54pm – misc – by lilbrother (man) – Japan_

"Your sister's hot."

Souta pulled a face at the brunette boy sitting to his left before socking him in the arm. "Don't talk about Kagome that way. Plus, your sister's way hotter."

In response, Kohaku glared at Souta and grumbled unhappily. "That's disgusting! Sango's not hot."

"Boys, boys," a mischievous-looking redhead with freckles and green eyes said while waving his hands in an effort to placate his two best friends. "_Both_ of your sisters are hot." Souta tried to punch Shippou—who danced out of the way, laughing at the angry expressions on their faces—and Kohaku attempted to lunge over the black-haired boy with his hands outstretched as if he'd actually strangle his friend.

"You're lucky you're an only child," Souta told Shippou sourly, choosing to restrain Kohaku rather than help him—but it had been a close call. "Being related to a girl is way too much drama."

"Really," Kohaku agreed, relaxing after he decided it wasn't worth pulling a muscle to commit murder.

"I think there'd be less drama if your sisters weren't idiots," Shippou pointed out. This time, he didn't move quick enough to dodge the punches thrown his way. While he rubbed his now-sore shoulder, the redhead hastened to explain himself. "I mean, Kagome's dating a moron, and Sango's dating a pervert. That doesn't sound all that bright to me."

"Me neither," the other two said simultaneously. The three boys burst into laughter, holding their sides as they shook with mirth on Souta's large family couch.

"I hope it's not that bad when _we_ get to college," Kohaku said between gasps, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye. "High school's bad enough."

"There wouldn't be half as many problems if they didn't all keep complaining about everything online where anyone can see it," Souta pointed out wisely. "We'll just be smart and not post anything on _fmylife_ that could get us in trouble."

"Or we could just not put that we're from Japan."

"That, too," Shippou said, patting Kohaku on the back for being so smart. "We could also be less specific—they've been so detailed, you know? No wonder everyone knows who posted what; it's not that hard to figure out."

"Kagome's still not convinced about all the ones I've found and told her about are by her friends," Souta explained, pulling the laptop toward himself and scrolling down the page without any real direction. "I mean, I read her all the ones that are really funny or disturbing, plus the ones I think might be related to her. She said that even when she confronts who she thinks wrote them, they don't always admit to it."

"I've barely met any of them, and even _I _can tell when it's them," Shippou said, snickering.

"Can you imagine how crazy the wedding would be if Kagome and Inuyasha ever get married?" Souta asked suddenly, looking torn between afraid and amused. "All of them in one place… with alcohol."

"And bad music."

"We should bring a video camera and put anything good on the internet," Shippou interjected. "It'll be great!"

"Yeah, unless someone dies."

"I predict at least one brawl," Kohaku said sagely.

"Nah, I bet there's two or three," Souta argued back, looking excited at the prospect of violence. "Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru, Inuyasha and Kouga, Kagura and Kouga…"

"I wonder how terrible it would be to be related to Inuyasha." For a moment, Shippou looked contemplative; then, his expression morphed into something resembling horror.

Immediately, Souta jumped to his idol's defense. "Are you kidding? It would be _awesome_."

"How can you look up to that idiot?"

Souta frowned at Kohaku and crossed his arms stubbornly. "Inuyasha's not that stupid; he's just impulsive and… and loud. It only _sounds _and _looks_ like he's stupid."

Kohaku snorted. "All I need for a hero is Sango; she kicks some serious ass."

"Yeah," Shippou argued, "in _kickboxing_ class."

"No, she's going to become a cop. Or a bounty hunter. Or an assassin," Kohaku snapped back. "Something really cool."

"Ha! And Inuyasha'll become emperor of Japan." Shippou laughed at his own joke, but his friends didn't look nearly as entertained.

"Why do you bash Inuyasha all the time?"

Shippou tilted his head, and his eyes got cloudy as if he was looking into the past. A scene came to mind—many years before, when Shippou had been very small (almost abnormally so), and someone who looked very much like Inuyasha had given him a brutal noogie. Inuyasha had been tricked into being Shippou's babysitter by Sesshoumaru by some clever but longwinded plan that would take several half-hour episodes to explain. "He's a jerk," Shippou said finally. The redhead didn't bother to add that he didn't hate Inuyasha, not _really_.

"So who's your hero then?" Souta asked. "I mean, I have Inuyasha, and Kohaku looks up to his sister."

For several seconds, Shippou considered it. "I guess Kagome. She's always so nurturing and kind and sweet to me."

"I still don't get why everyone thinks she's so great," Souta muttered, sounding more than a little disturbed. "You guys don't see her like I do. Don't get me wrong, I love Kagome, but she has a short temper, she's really stubborn and loud, she can be really lazy when it comes to schoolwork, and she's kind of snappy and sarcastic."

"She treats me like a brother," Shippou pointed out. "She treats all three of us like little brothers. It's nice."

"Sorry, Souta, but I gotta agree. Kagome's great."

Souta sighed tiredly and scrubbed at his face. "She's got you all fooled; one day, you'll come crawling back to me, and—"

"Oh, stop being such a drama queen." Kohaku and Shippou snickered, while Souta considered writing a nasty FML post about his two best friends. Everyone in his life totally sucked.


	9. Kagome

All that remains after this is an epilogue by a surprise guest.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the _fmylife_ website.

* * *

_F My Life_

**Kagome**

* * *

Today, I realized that it's useless to fight this stupid website because my friends, boyfriend, and brother are all completely obsessed with it. I'm not happy. FML

_On 03/04/2011 at 11:51pm – misc – by resigned (woman) – Japan_

Or that's what the post would have said if Kagome had officially submitted it. The black-haired girl stared at her computer screen, her mouth set in a frown. After some consideration, she highlighted the post with her mouse and hit the key to delete it because there was a more pressing FML post to construct. It was about the situation that had finally moved her to want to share something on _fmylife_, despite the fact that she'd been fighting the website for a long time. However, what had happened earlier that night was too good to pass up.

She put her fingers on the keyboard and considered how she wanted to word it. How did people condense so many life problems and events into such short sentences? Kagome shook her head resolutely, trying hard not to glamorize the other posters. (Seriously, if someone like _Inuyasha _or _Naraku_ could do it, why couldn't she?)

_Today…_

Kagome suddenly had to fight the silly smile spreading across her face. She was one of maybe three people who had found the whole thing to be hilarious instead of disturbing or scandalous or whatever. For several seconds right after it had happened, Sango and Kagome had shared an amused look, smothering their laughter. Kouga hadn't even tried to not giggle like a schoolgirl. Kagura had looked disgusted, Ayame seemed surprised, and Sesshoumaru… Well, he never really looked anything, which didn't change on that particular night. However, Kagome swore she saw something in his cold eyes—a hint of laughter, maybe? It was probably just a reflection.

Reigning in her giggles, Kagome stared at the blank box.

Today, during a sudden blackout, my best friend's boyfriend "accidentally" groped my boyfriend. When the lights flickered on, my boyfriend looked like he was enjoying it. FML

_On 03/04/2011 at 11:54pm – misc – by notmanenough? (woman) – Japan_

Before she could back down, Kagome submitted the post. It wouldn't be long before all her friends—who seemed to religiously check the website—read the update and confronted her about it. Inuyasha would be the hardest to deal with, especially since Kagome had conveniently left out the fact that he had only looked like he was enjoying it until he saw the person the hand on his ass was attached to. But really, did he think Kagome was the type of girl who would take advantage of the lights going out to grope her boyfriend?

Of course not!

Her cell phone, sitting on the table next to the desktop computer, started to vibrate. As it danced across the hard surface, the screen lit up and identified the caller. As soon as she picked up her phone, snapped it open, and put it to her ear, a voice was yakking. Thankfully, it was not Inuyasha. Yet.

"Kagome! I just saw—"

"Of course you just saw, Sango; I posted it like_…_ fifteen seconds ago. What are you doing, constantly refreshing the page?"

"No," Sango immediately said, and Kagome could hear the defensiveness in her best friend's voice loud and clear. "I just brought _fmylife_ up. Plus, according to the time stamp on it, you posted it two minutes ago."

"Not fifteen seconds?"

"Nope. Lemme guess—you're sitting there fantasizing about what happened?"

Together, the girls collapsed into laughter again, the sound echoing weirdly across the line until it seemed to be everywhere. "You'd think a little boy-on-boy action would've been hot, but the looks on their faces…"

"I almost felt bad for Miroku. He looked both terrified of the beating he had to know was coming and ready to saw his own hand off. I knew his perverted ways would get him in trouble one of these days with someone other than me," Sango said.

"Poor Inuyasha was so red in the face," Kagome groaned. She paused for a second before finally asking, "Wait, does this mean you're gonna start up on the gay jokes again?"

A few seconds passed, but Sango finally said something that made Kagome's smile droop a little. "Of course, Kagome. But now you have every right to make jokes about Miroku's sexuality, too. Those _idiots_!"

"I just can't believe Miroku managed to grab his butt and not yours. I mean, the power was out for less than thirty seconds; it's not like we could've gone far. Why would you go from sitting next to him to standing five feet away?"

"He probably felt me stand up," Sango explained slowly, but Kagome could hear a tinge of hope in her voice. "I could hear him get up and stumble, too. He just… went too far."

"He always goes too far; that's the whole problem with your boyfriend," Kagome pointed out thoughtfully. "Just in this case, you mean he went too far physically rather than figuratively speaking."

"What are we gonna do with them?"

"First," Kagome said, "I have to make sure I'm still dating mine. I mean, Inuyasha's probably going to get all pissy about me talking about it on the web. I mean, sure, it's anonymous, but we've covered the fact that it's not that hard to figure out who posted what if you happen to know the person."

"Yeah, but everyone who was in that room—us, Kouga and Ayame, Sesshoumaru and Kagura—already knows what happened because they were there. No one else knows us well enough to guess it was you posting about Inuyasha. I hope, especially since you always talk about how overrated the site is. No one would probably figure it out other than our brothers… And no one will tell anyone; at least not tell anyone other than anonymously online."

"Except Sesshoumaru."

Sango hesitated after Kagome said that, considering it. "Ok, maybe Sesshoumaru. I mean, he's not exactly afraid of Inuyasha. Then again, don't you think he'd feel some kind of family shame about what happened, though?"

Kagome shrugged before remembering Sango couldn't see her. "I don't know. I like Sesshoumaru, and a small part of me thinks he's probably pro-homosexuality. Sure, he's in an officially unofficial (since their company can't find out about it) relationship with Kagura, but you still gotta wonder about him sometimes. Not that I'm saying I think he's gay; I mean, I just think stupidity bothers him more than someone's sexual preference."

"He is a very pretty man," Sango said with a sigh.

"Plus," Kagome said, lowering her voice conspiratorially, "I swear I saw him wearing eye shadow once." Before she could continue, a beep over the line told her she had another call. "Uh-oh, I bet that's Inuyasha."

"Check the caller ID?"

"I'm afraid to."

"Maybe it's Souta," Sango suggested supportively. The several second pause and drawn-out sigh from Kagome made Sango sag; the brunette figured her best friend must have checked the caller ID, and it was not good news. "Well, I better go anyway," Sango said. "I should probably call Miroku and sooth his wounded male pride."

"I have to do the same." The girls said their goodbyes and, once Sango hung up, Kagome flipped over to her other line to deal with Inuyasha. This conversation would probably not be as fun or funny.

"KAGOME!"

The girl held the phone away from her ear, staring at it incredulously. Her ear was ringing from his screaming. "Inuy—"

"I can't believe you went online and posted that!"

"I know, but—"

"And I did not _enjoy _it. I would _never enjoy _Miroku molesting me. I thought you would know that!"

Kagome sighed, trying hard to get a word in edge-wise, but Inuyasha was having none of it. "Inuyasha—"

"I like _girls_, Kagome. You, specifically. I thought that was kinda clear, ya' know?" This time, Kagome couldn't even get a syllable in. "And you posted it ONLINE where ANYONE can see it. Like Sesshoumaru! And I know he was already in the room, but still, what if he reads it? He might have thought he'd imagined it otherwise if no one ever brought it up again. He's gonna hold that shit over my head for years now. My dad's probably rolling in his grave."

Kagome clutched her cell phone tighter, her knuckles going white as she steeled her nerves to grow balls big enough to actually interrupt this so-called conversation and turn it the way she wanted it to go. Then again, Inuyasha was the girl in the relationship practically all the time—he was such a moody little whiner. "INUYASHA!"

There was a pause, and Kagome could hear Inuyasha choke on the breath he had just tried to suck in. "What?"

"I love you." It wasn't the first time she had told him, but it also wasn't something they told each other very often. Inuyasha was, as Kagome had put it, emotionally constipated; meanwhile, Kagome could deal with him rarely telling her the same thing, but that didn't mean she wanted to be the only one in the relationship telling the other how much she loved him every day without hearing it back. Anyway, her clever move seemed to work, surprising her irate boyfriend into silence. Kagome counted the seconds in her head, but she could still hear him breathing—plus, there wasn't a dial tone—so she knew he hadn't hung up on her.

Finally: "Kagome?"

"Yeah?"

"I love you, too."

"I know."


	10. Hojo: An Epilogue

This is the end, my friends. It was actually nice to get back into writing fanfiction, and I am already trying to outline an actual story to write (with full chapters, a plot, and everything!), but nothing is set in stone. I would once again like to thank the wonderful **purduepup** for all her help; this drabble collection would not have been the same without her.

Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha or the _fmylife _website.

* * *

_F My Life: An Epilogue of Sorts_

**Hojo**

* * *

Today, I realized that I am so forgettable that no one noticed I was in the hospital for four days after falling down the stairs in my apartment building. FML

_On 7/17/2011 at 4:43pm – misc – by forgotten (man) – Japan_

Hojo really was trying hard to be forgiving. He understood that all his friends led very busy lives these days. Today was, after all, the one-year anniversary of when Kagome and Inuyasha officially (_finally_) got together. In that year, new relationships—both of love and friendship—had developed between the tight-knit group, and in the center of it all was the couple that had started everything. But it was just plain _ridiculous_ that a _neighbor _was the one to find Hojo at the bottom of the stairs with—what he'd learned later at the hospital—a small concussion, broken wrist, and badly sprained ankle. Then that neighbor—a pretty girl named Ayumi—had taken him to the hospital, waited to discuss Hojo's diagnosis with the doctor, and was the first (and only) person to visit his bedside in four days.

Sure, Inuyasha was spending more time than ever at Kagome's new apartment a couple of blocks away. Kouga had officially moved in with Ayame (there were bets being placed on how soon those two would rush into marriage). Miroku was in negotiations with Sango about moving into the very small house she shared with her younger brother. Plus, it wasn't like Sesshoumaru and Kagura visited all that much—they did, occasionally, drop in to check up on things being the only two who acted like the adults they were.

However, Hojo was surprised that not a single one of them noticed he's been gone for four—**FOUR—**days.

Even worse, he couldn't seem to get a hold of anyone by phone to come pick him up from the hospital once he was released. (He really couldn't wait to get out of the place. His nurse, a beautiful woman named Kikyou, was gentle and competent, but she barely talked and her eyes gave him the heebie jeebies.) Had they all forgotten to tell him they'd switched cell phone numbers? Inuyasha had actually done that once.

Okay, sure, they all had very different and hectic schedules between classes, part-time jobs, and family obligations… but…

Hojo stared sullenly at the rundown laptop that belonged to the hospital. Kikyou had brought it to him when asked, which was pretty nice of her. Seriously, it wasn't like Hojo to be this miserable. He tended to be more upbeat, oblivious, naïve, and just plain _happy _than even Kagome could ever hope to be. What could he say? He _liked_ seeing the glass half-full, finding the silver lining, and talking about the up-side of things.

Well, fine, Hojo admitted, it was wonderful seeing all his friends have so many things going well for them. It was even better knowing that despite the constant arguments among some of them (especially the couples), they all really did care for one another. They were another year closer to graduating, moving out into the "real world," and now they all had an honest-to-goodness support system of family, friends, and family-like friends to lean on.

Reassured, Hojo could actually feel the smile growing on his face. When the nurse (not Kikyou this time, but a much older woman named Kaede) came to check on him a few minutes later, she commented positively on his dimpled cheeks and twinkling eyes. He even considered logging back into _fmylife_ and deleting the post. But something kept creeping up on him—not an entire thought or a whole sentence, just two words: four days, four days, four days. And no word from a single one of them.

Ah, well, maybe he could turn this into a positive situation (which he almost always could; it was a specialty of his) by giving that cute Ayumi girl a call. Most girls seemed to like him, be attracted to him even, but yet again, he seemed to drop off all their radars eventually. Maybe Ayumi would be different. She seemed sweet, if not a little timid, as if she was used to being flanked by two loud and hyper friends (Hojo wasn't sure what gave him this idea), and she even seemed a little familiar. Perhaps he'd seen a picture of her somewhere. Kagome seemed to have a lot of casual friends outside the group, especially from her high school days. Ayumi could be one of those.

(It wasn't until much later that Hojo saw a picture of Ayumi, Eri, and Yuka in Kagome's wallet, confirming his theory. He really was a lot brighter than anyone gave him credit for. Or just really, really lucky. Other than the whole falling down the stairs fiasco.)

As time ticked by, Hojo wavered between trying Kagome's cell again or giving Ayumi a call, asking her for another favor. Finally, he picked up the handset from the night table beside his bed, but before he could punch in a single number, the door to his hospital room flew open. Kagome tumbled in first, followed closely by Sango and Ayame; Kouga and Miroku shuffled in a few steps after them, looking a little guilty and concerned but not as much as the girls. Inuyasha was the last to enter, his hands stuffed in his pockets and his shoulders slumped as if he didn't have a care in the world. (Then again, Hojo thought, the guy was rich, handsome, and dating Kagome—who, in Hojo's humble opinion, was probably the best girl on the planet, romance between them or not.)

"I am so—!" Kagome began, but Sango interrupted (and correctly completed her best friend's exclamation).

"So sorry!"

"We're terrible friends," Kagome gushed, looking like she might cry as guilt overtook her concern.

"And terrible roommates," Miroku added thoughtfully.

"Yeah, pretty shitty people in general," Kouga elaborated.

"We _suck_," Kagome concluded, perching on the edge of Hojo's bed and reaching for his hand. Unfortunately, the one she clutched was the one attached to a broken wrist. Hojo yelped, and Kagome quickly dropped it and patted his knee instead.

"I don't think it's our fault," Inuyasha finally piped up from where he stood by the door, eyeing his friends like they were nuts for fluttering around the injured boy. "I mean, seriously, buddy, you kinda blend into the background, like a fern or a really dull watercolor painting."

"Inuyasha!"

He ignored his girlfriend's scolding. "I mean, I guess I'm sorry you got hit by a bus."

"Fell down the stairs," Hojo corrected helpfully, beaming like he was a kid in a candy shop. Look at all his friends visiting his bedside! So what if they hadn't figured it out for four days? That really wasn't _that_ long.

"Anyway," Inuyasha plowed on as if he didn't even hear Hojo's comment. (He hadn't.) "Sesshoumaru offered to pay your hospital expenses."

"And we'll be your personal nurses at the house," Kagome said, gesturing to herself, Sango, and Ayame.

"Oh! Will you wear little costumes?" Miroku asked, suddenly at full attention. That is, he was until Sango slapped him upside the head. "Kouga, Inuyasha, and I will pick up your homework and ask for copies of notes from your classmates," he said, once he'd recovered and decided it was best if he added an appropriate comment to the conversation.

"And Kagura volunteered to scare all your professors into allowing you to take your finals late and submit any final projects in a couple of weeks, once you feel better," Kagome informed Hojo, looking extremely pleased with herself. "Oh! And my brother Souta, Sango's brother Kohaku, and their friend Shippou offered to help out, too, in any way you need. Personally, I think they just want an excuse to get a taste of college life, but, well, you know, if they're happy _and _being helpful, what's the big deal?"

Right then and there, Hojo decided that his friends may all be flawed (and really weird), but they were—definitely—the good guys. However, if they were this bad at just living normal, everyday college student lives… He shuddered at the idea of any of them having any real responsibility. They would totally suck at saving the world or something.

_**End**_


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